Warcraft II: Remastered – Orc Fest [Review]

Put on your troll-skin boots—it’s time to return to Azeroth, where the orcs are once again restless and in need of a lesson in etiquette. While Warcraft II: Remastered has seen a little more effort put into it than Warcraft I: Remastered, it still suffers from the same issue: cheap AI slop, masquerading as improvements. Now, to be fair, it runs better and much smoother than the original (I tried), but the new visuals and the upscaled CGI cutscenes are of poor quality. This means that the only part you pay for is the increased performance, as everything besides that is worse, or on the same level as the original.

Mom, the orcs are here again!
The story is, to be entirely honest, underwhelming—especially so when going for a deliberate lore deep-dive. First off, there aren’t many treasures of lore to be excavated, except the similar tidbits from the first game. Meaning, throwbacks to locations, before we got to traipse around these areas in World of Warcraft. The one notable and interesting piece of lore was probably the missions involving Alterac. The nation of Kingdom of Alterac actually helped the orcish hordes, which has you destroying them in battle, reducing their kingdom to ash and stone. It explains the desolate feeling of Alterac in WoW, where between dodging vicious raptors there are only ruins of a long-lost civilization to observe. 

The second problem is the story at large, as it’s more or less a rehash of the first game, but slightly expanded story, and races involved in the war. I just remember it being way more epic and intricate when I played it as a kid—selective memory is a hell of a thing! Jokes aside, it’s still somewhat of an issue since it’s just too simple and very quickly paced, when I was expecting more meat to gnaw on under a longer time. At least, I’m playing the correct campaign this time around (the human) as the story didn’t make much sense to me going by an alliance victory in Warcraft 1.

You see, orcs destroyed Stormwind in the first war, which forced the remaining humans to flee north to Lordaeron. Orcs, being the murderous bloodlust-craving savages they are, follow the humans and invade from the south—the direction of the now razed Stormwind. So, no dark portal shenanigans this time, just a bloody war of supremacy (and survival) for Azeroth!

Just to be clear before we continue. I don’t want to slag off the story too much, because it’s still enjoyable for what it is. A tale of a brutal war between two races that are fundamental opponents in worship—one for demons and black magic, and one for divine beings of good and the magic of light. It’s a very classic tale in that sense, with a few dwarves and ogres thrown in for good measure.

Ship ahoy!
The RTS gameplay is pretty similar to the first game, but now with improvements and balance fixes—no more machine-gunning crossbowmen! Overall, it’s very standard by now, but trend setting back in the day. I had no problem transferring my campaign tactics of putting infantry to key 1, archers to 2, and catapults (ballistas) to 3, and letting my army do my foreign diplomacy—just like in Warcraft 1 (with a minimum of spell-usage, since I’m too old for advanced tactics).

What surprised me though was the addition of ships—not the addition per se, but the amount of maps that involve this new feature. It felt like more than half the maps had island hopping, which isn’t too bad, because the challenge for the game comes from logistics, instead of the actual combat. Creating armadas, and ships to transport armies, costs a lot more than the average footman. This can easily cripple you, if you don’t make plans for the future. Building a large army with no money left over for ships will spell game over fast. I recommend doing extensive scouting to get an idea of what the map designer expects of you. Unexpectedly enough, there are a lot of tricks and fake-outs on the maps that can get you to spend a lot of gold on useless enemies you don’t need to fight. More than once I found the alliance in a bad financial state, and tragically, there is no military industrial complex to bail you out in Azeroth.

Partially brain-dead
One huge problem, as hinted at, is how challengeless the game is—for the most part. The orcs are so passive at intervals, it almost feels broken. It’s like the game forgot to trigger the “orc bloodlust” script, forgetting to make the orcs go to town in a blood fueled rage—and instead just waits for you to mercifully end their suffering with a sword to the neck. Then suddenly you get a map where the enemy sends constant probing attacks, like one map close to the campaign end which had infinite dragons assaulting the towers every second minute. Consistency is not a thing in this world.

So to say the campaign is uneven is to understate things, and as far as I know there is no setting to change either—if you want more of a contest. Yet, like I said earlier, it’s still an enjoyable romp through orc infested fantasy land, even if both the gameplay and story can feel a bit on the weaker side. For me, though, much of the amusement comes in the form of a nostalgia trip. If we are to compare the two games, I would say Warcraft 1 wins out, as it was more a novelty—playing something I have never played before.

Azeroth 2.0
Just like the previous remaster, Warcraft II: Remastered also got updated music and graphics. However, just like that game, the original visual style is so much better than this oddly flat 2D graphical design that has a very artificial look. The new music is technically better, but I stuck with the original sound, since I found the newly composed music didn’t really sit that well with the old appearance of the game.

Conclusion
Right off the bat, I want to say that Warcraft II: Remastered is probably the best way to play the game on modern systems. I tried the GOG release (that is no longer sold) for comparison, and while it runs well—it has an “old-school” sluggishness that the remaster version has fixed. As I discussed in the intro of the review, that’s essentially what you get for your money here. Everything else is subpar compared to the original game, or is equal, since it’s actually the same graphics and music used. It’s hard to say if that is worth the €15, but I think that’s the only place to buy Warcraft 2 currently—if you don’t pick up a physical copy. 

I guess it all depends on your desire for nostalgia. Mine was strong enough to pick up a copy, yet, I wouldn’t say I’m all that satisfied—nor with the remaster or the game itself. At least it comes with the expansion, which I’ve never played—so there’s still something new to look forward to!

Thanks for reading.

– Thomas