Alan Wake 2 is… boring

This isn’t a review, and there won’t be one since I just can’t be bothered to play this slow-moving molasses for a game anymore. I did put in another 3-4 hours after my initial impression post, which means I did get to play as Alan finally – in a game named after him. His part is better, but that isn’t saying much as both characters suffer from the same sluggishness in both gameplay and story. I just can’t take it anymore, and I usually love slow-moving survival horror. Something is just way off with everything.

Shadowmen
The enemies are very boring, as most of them will be humans repeated ad infinitum, but in a “shadow form”. This means you need to blast them with light before popping them with your gun. The problem here is that they are not unsettling or scary at all. Now, this enemy type shouldn’t be a surprise because the enemies in the first game work the same. However, something has gone amiss here – they are just not frightening at all. I think the segments with Alan Wake might have something to do with it since many enemies will remain and die in shadow form – and many times (as you will learn quickly) you don’t even need to engage with them. They just stand around and whisper crazy stuff like the random hobos you find outside the liqueur store. You just brush past them, making a speedy retreat to the next cutscene trigger. And that leads me to another issue…

Game or movie?
Is Alan Wake 2 supposed to be a game or a movie? It’s hard to tell at times. Clearly, there are some forms of gameplay. You do shoot and kill stuff, and you also search for clues for Saga to put up on her little mind board. However, the gameplay segments are disconnected by long times of meandering, which means that the only thing you will be doing is slowly walking around until the next cutscene trigger. Actually, sometimes you don’t even get to wander around, it’s cutscene after cutscene that feels much more like a movie than anything else. I have a feeling that Remedy wanted to tell a very specific story here, gameplay be damned because the majority of the focus went into the film sequences and the snazzy presentation. That only works if the story is interesting, which I don’t think it is.

Story is a big yawn
The story as far as I have played is not terrible, but it’s not good either. It just feels very non-engaging, and I think one of the reasons I feel this way is that there is just too big of a focus on the META narrative, connecting all the past Remedy games snugly into one grand tale of spooks and mystery. I don’t mind horror, I like horror, I even like psychological horror, and horror that takes place in alternative dimensions that only the mind can enter, or even stuff that the human psyche can’t fathom. But the story in Alan Wake 2 is just so surface-level and isn’t explained that well, which makes the horror aspect fall flat. What is real, and what is not? And who is affected by the darkness, if anyone? Nobody seems to react to anything. Imagine living next to a forest with hundreds of crazy cultists that like to maim and kill – but you and the town you live in are ignoring this fact for some reason. 

The characters we get to follow, specifically Saga and Alex (The FBI agents) are pretty damn calm, even after experiencing the supernatural for the first time. Saga even goes out alone into the forest with the knowledge that homicidal maniacs are prowling out there. I wouldn’t have a problem with this if the setting wasn’t supposed to be “realistic”. Yet, here we are to believe this tiny woman is ready to face all the forest’s horror alone without ever being scared, even a little.

Like I said, this isn’t a review, maybe the game turns fantastic suddenly, but if it hasn’t captured me after 5-6 hours, I doubt it ever will. The reason I played it was because of how good reviews it got all over. I should have known – game journalists don’t play games, and they love “movie games” since it means they don’t have to do much work, just sit back and watch. I’m very surprised by the reception, but to be fair, many seem to be mesmerized by the visuals alone, and I admit, they are good. I wouldn’t say it lifts the game, which graphics in general rarely do – but they do enhance the experience if the game in question is good already. Oh well, until next time!

Thanks for reading.

/Thomas